I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Semen is not good for contacts.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
