There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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