you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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