Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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