I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
