I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
