I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
