Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
