I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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