puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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