She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
