So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
