oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
