There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
