Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
