I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
