Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
