Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
