It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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