the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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