dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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