My liver just broke up with me...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
