This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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