The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
