And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
foreskin is a definite game changer
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
