His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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