Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
