i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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