my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
