So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
