he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
