I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
