please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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