he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
