I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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