Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
