what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
