I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
