ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
