You can't special order awesome
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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