I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize