Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Welp...herpes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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