Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
