And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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