mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
