I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You have to summon your inner elephant
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
