Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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