the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize