She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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