I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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