Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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