You're completely useless in the revolution.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
