I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Drunk is a universal language darling
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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