New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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