How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
