Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
