Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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